The Hunt for Wholeness: How to Live Into Your Healing One Cosmic Clue at a Time
I don’t recommend that you do exactly what I did to heal. I wouldn’t suggest you try to replicate my path, but instead encourage you to forge your own. I had to track my healing and my wholeness, the same way you would track a wild animal through the woods—watching for dropping, prints, and snapped twigs. It would be senseless to draw you a map of the course I took through the wilderness in pursuit of my own healing; to warn you of the cliffs and perils I faced along the way; to try to map the meadows I crossed; or the stones I stepped on to traverse raging rivers in hot pursuit of my very life.
You are pursuing a different beast—your own healing and wholeness—a beast that moves and lurks and travels through the wilderness in its own way. While I can’t track your healing for you, I can help you to become a skilled tracker, so that you can make your way through the challenges of the wild in your own right.
I lived into my healing by receiving one small clue at a time. There were no shortcuts or quick fixes.
This is how I found the doctor who treated me successfully and it’s how I engaged with the multitude of inner-work that true healing requires. Through listening, opening, and being receptive I received indicators or signs of what to try or what next step to take. It wasn’t always successful, but failed attempts helped me to fine tune my tracking skills. I kept listening, opening, receiving—my whole healing process was intuitive and I worked with the Universe on it constantly to receive the next step, and the next, and the next…
What do I mean? When I heard the same thing over and over I knew to pay attention or to pursue that clue. Someone had actually mentioned my doctors name a few times before I knew it was a lead I had to follow. I would see an ad on Facebook, drive behind a truck with certain words on it, or I would dream that I had to eat a certain food, or that I was having a dreamtime consultation with a healer…I charted my course like this every single day with humility and receptivity trusting the intelligence of the Universe to take me where I needed to be.
I believe the Universe guides each of us towards our wholeness ALL THE TIME.
It’s us who are busy, distracted, focused elsewhere—we aren’t actually available to receive the guidance that’s being provided. Sometimes, we are receiving the messages, but we are too stubborn to let go of our own agenda to truly heed what’s being asked of us. Either that or we’ve never been taught how to truly attune, to really plug-in, to connect with ourselves and to move from the truth we find there. We’ve been so bombarded our whole life that we maybe don’t even know how to be still and to connect to our depths and to the depths of life.
I realize that people are having great difficulty, not only releasing resistance, but in tracking their own healing and successful movement towards wholeness.
People are not to blame for this difficulty. We’ve become a product of the whirlwind of distraction that we live in. It has become a revolutionary act to connect deeply to oneself and to the Universe. It’s brave to actually feel, and sense, while living in a culture that offers us a million and one distractions and ‘outs’ from our own experience. We have lost the ability to attune, to listen, and to connect with the ground of being in a world of busy-mind. When we’re doing fine, this may be fine, perhaps we’re getting by, but…
When our life is at stake and we need our inner compass to guide us, our ability to navigate skillfully and with wisdom matters a great deal.
This is why I do what I do—I support people in tracking their healing and wholeness, reconnecting with their souls so that they may heal and move into lives of greater authenticity and wellbeing. I help people who are on a healing journey (to some extent we all are) to relearn ancient ways of knowing, being, and living; ways that are informed by connection to their depths, to their very souls, and to the soul of the world.
This is what’s required if we want to address our discomfort beyond mere symptom management, and use it to evolve into our fullest potential as human beings.
Tracking healing and wholeness is rooted in ancient ways of relating with the Universe: it requires trusting that the Universe is profoundly intelligent, that everything is encoded with meaning and wisdom, and that we can in fact trust life to usher us into our true place of belonging. We must let go of much to jump into this bigger story of life and of ourselves. We have to relearn, just as ancient peoples could read the stars, to read our inner and outer worlds and to listen with all that we are.
We have to watch and wait with devotion, as though we were hunting our supper with bow-ready, for what comes out of the wild with our name on it.
When we track, we’re not inventing anything or even creating anything, but attuning to the wisdom and motion of life that already IS. This is the motion that beats our hearts and flows blood in our veins. This is the life current that HEALS us when we are in tune with it and when we allow for it.
Each healing journey is different—encoded by the mystery with certain gifts, realizations, and challenges, just as every hunt or tracking attempt in the wild is different from the last. Each individual has a different soul-blossoming that they are capable of living into, that they are destined for, and able to discover in their own right. This is not something we make up or choose but something that chooses us and that springs forth from the inner-seed we were born with.
As David Whyte says, “Hold to your own truth at the center of the image you were born with.”
A true healing journey (and soul-initiation) is designed to get us in touch with our very center, with this authentic soul image, to crack us open so that we can finally access our innate gifts and unique soul-call. Business-as-usual does not afford us the luxury of deep psychospiritual development. But when difficulty comes, when we fall ill, when we’re suffering, when we find ourselves on our knees, it’s a potent opportunity to realign ourselves and our lives with deeper authenticity.
I want this for you.
Will you accept this invitation to grow into your truest self? Are you ready to receive this profound gift even if it’s wrapped to look and feel like a catastrophe? Would you like to develop your ability to work in harmony with the Universe? Does the idea of tracking your healing or your wholeness inspire your curiosity? Would you like to begin now?
:: EXPLORE ::
In my work, the thing I see that gets in the way of people living into their wholeness the most is a lack of availability (that and getting stuck in resistance). What I mean is that people don’t have enough bandwidth left after their day at work, their life demands, and scrolling through social media, to truly listen or to hold space for connection, connection to themselves and to the present moment. Connection to Self is connection to Everything.
If I had to prescribe ONE SINGLE THING that has the greatest chance of getting you on the right track with your healing, I would give you a prescription for AVAILABILITY. I mean time, attention, openness, and space. This could look a lot of different ways and I recommend choosing a way that feels good and authentic to you. Prioritize this receptivity practice regularly. Try these (with your phone off). Here are some suggestions:
Go sit in a café by yourself with a journal and people watch, observe life, and jot down any insights that arise.
Go sit by a river, lake, or stream with a tea, and take in the sights and sounds of wild nature.
Spend an afternoon puttering around your house with no particular agenda.
Go for a run, a drive, or a walk.
Begin a daily seated meditation practice (free of special technique) and allow yourself to rest in the felt sense of being.
Have a creative afternoon painting, collaging, or crafting—but don’t listen to a podcast, or anything that will occupy your attention.
All of these suggestions involve some alone time, availability of attention (with no particular focus), and time away from your phone. You could try anything else that allows you to connect to yourself deeply and that gives you some loose bandwidth.
To be a successful tracker you have to be available to clues, signs, and indicators of what you’re tracking. When we listen and pay attention, we find that the Universe is speaking to us all the time.
Blessings from my healing journey to yours.
Copyright © 2018 Marie-Ève Bonneau
ONE-ON-ONe SUPPORT AND GUIDANCE
If you’d like additional guidance or support in applying these ideas to your lived experience, I offer One-on-One Sessions worldwide to individuals who are on a healing journey (via telephone or Skype). These sessions are a safe space to explore, ask the big questions, and to experience compassionate support with someone who has lived through a similar experience as the one you may be having. It is my greatest joy and honor to support you on your healing journey.